Insert Joke Here – RECYCLED

April 1, 2013 at 8:50 am

We still have not produced anything clever or funny for April Fools, but we still also think the sentiments expressed below remain.

Originally Published April 1, 2009

Did you wake up this morning thinking Monsanto would be the new sponsor of the Local Beet?  Or would there be a feature on the virtues of high fructose corn syrup because it is, after all, local?  Maybe an article on Alice Water’s new line of frozen foods (haha).  We could be more droll and collect peas, strawberries and asparagus from Stanley’s, Jewel and Dominicks for a seasonal tasting.  The Standard Manual of Accepted and Required Magazine and Newspaper Procedures handed to us when we turned on the lights here states we must publish things like a sappy Thanksgiving piece and a Valentine’s gift guide.  An April’s Fool edition, the manual tells us, is optional.

Me thinks right now we are too damn committed to make fun of ourselves.  We who never get tired of espousing the rutabaga, who address, “how you doin”” with a five minute comment on the state of our apples.  Who thinks it worthwhile to switch people from arugula to rocket.  Is there room, really, for anything funny?  In fact my wife who knows both, says that Locavores have less humor than Feminists.  Would you know if it was an April Fool’s column?

Don’t despair.  At the Local Beet assignment desk we have at least two pieces in the works on the problems associated with eating local.  We don’t want to run those on April 1 because we don’t want you laughing at us.  We want you laughing with us.  We know eating local, as trendy and as chic as it may appear to some, is still a stream bucking enterprise.  We make mistakes and laugh at ourselves.  You should too because after each bag of moldy sunchokes [edit, this year it would be unused quinces that went blue-y mold] we throw out, each package of local meat we unwrap to find a cut never before seen by a butcher, each hard earned can that yields the most awful tasting pickles imaginable, we get back and do it again.  What’s so funny about that?